Always at the threshold of something

I feel like I am at the stage where I am supposed to do something different - do things I always dreamt of but never even tried; try new things and sample wares that capture my fancy. I do have the time now that my favorite show - rockstar INXS is over. I don't want to watch anything else so I have the time to explore other possibilities in my life. I was happy JD got chosen - I liked watching him and as long as they write songs appropriate to his voice range - he should do very well. I will miss the weekly musical revue. I liked them all but we all have our favorites. JD was mine so I am happy he won but my husband is mighty miffed as his guy MIG did not.

So, finally I found something to look forward to - the INXS tour and of course I will drag my husband to it.It has been a long time since I caught the bug to do something - to look forward to seeing the concert - due to start in Jan 2006.
And how cool is that - we are actually three quarters through 2005. Sometimes, I stand still and stay amaze that time flits by so fast and inevitable, I start to think - I gotta do something, time is runnin' ... And I look around for inspirations - the push to make me do something and all I find out is that I am at the threshold of something. Just standing there - one is at the threshold to enter somewhere; go somewhere but I stay suspended. Just standing while time flits by merrily.

I conclude from all these standing around that I am not actually overly ambitious. I want to do things but only so much and not push harder. I enjoy my life and am happy most of the time and if there were any regrets for things undone - I have only myself to blame and I really don't care because I can still do them. Does that make me a procastinator? or simply put, Am I just a lazy bum?

Makes me wonder. I look around and see a lot people doing the same things I do - and I wonder - are they content with their lot? I think about that sometimes. It amuse me to analyze people - most of whom I despise for the most inane reasons - until I get to knwo them. I used to dislike this girl because she had terrible brown-yellow teeth, I would see her around work and just think - Ugh disgusting mouth. So Shallow but once I got talking to her, I found her smart and well spoken and I forgot all about her teeth. It is like that with me - I feel childish and shallow but I have to confess that I judge people I don't know based on their appearances and accents. And just being older has not changed that.