Happy New Year

In the small town where I grew up, we always close the year with a dual message. This message is always posted as a big banner in the church entry saying, " Goodbye 2005 and Welcome 2006". So, a year ends but it also heralds a swanky new one. I really like that. You look back on what the year has been and prepare yourself for the new year. I loved that theme - a perspective on what has gone by and a blank canvas for what will happen, the many possibilities that the new year holds for one is the best gift to ourselves.

I am basically an optimist and always hope to have a better year - in all aspects of my life. Some things, as always will be beyond my control but how I take those things in my stride is in my control - attitude - it makes all the difference in how we assess our situations. I also like to make resolutions, never mind that I almost have the same ones every year, signaling, perhaps, that I am not successful at keeping them. But I am not discouraged and even if I repeat resolutions, having this goal helps me stay afloat and I do manage to do a certain amount - I actually do a part of it and just by continuing to keep the same resolutions every year, the hope that I will actually complete my goals and resolve is higher.

Take for instance, a foodaholic like me always have the resolution to watch what I eat and to monitor my food portion, my assessment on this is that, I don't do it everyday but I do it 50% of the time and it is my hope that every passing year will lead me to the eventual goal of weaning my greedy self away from the pitfalls of second and third helpings. Intellectually, I know that all I need is only 1 helping of food but that knowledge has not worked while the guilt of my incomplete resolution do sometimes make me quit after the first helping. So, it works in a way.

However, the whole point of self improvement is to break away from bad habits and it is a tough job - hence the need for resolutions. You don't need resolutions for the easy things in life or do you?

My resolutions are not new ones but re-enforced every year. If that does not make me an eternal optimist, what does? I also add new caveats to achieve my goals or to cheat a bit. This is also a result of growing older - things that I never thought of in my earlier years now begin to play a pivotal role. Take sugar for example - I never once dreamt that I would even think about cutting it off from my diet but this year,2006, instead of sugar, I will only use splenda - I get the sweet but my body will not absorb it - all thanks to chemistry - Splenda is same as sugar but its hydroxyl is replaced by chloride and this new chemical compund is not absorbed by the body.

My other resolution is to do less cardio and instead, incorporate weights in my workout. Cardio is my first choice because I am lazy - I just have to get on a machine and use it while I watch TV. It is not a bad deal really - get your dose of celebrity gossip and sweat it out. But it does not do much for flabby arms and the day my triceps hang like an old lady is the day, I lay down and die. So, weights is it - bicep curls and so on at least twice a week for 30 minutes. But what about my core, you ask? If you do not like hanging triceps, surely the sight of tire or the hint of one around your waist is not going to be a pleasant sight. True, I see signs of thickening waistline and no we don't want that shown when wearing that low-rise jeans - so crunches - here I come. I don't care how old I get, I am not going to stop wearing what I like and I happen to like low-rise jeans so definitely, I cannot afford to have my gut hanging out while trying to look chic in a style designed for prepubescent teens!

Actually, if you scrutinize your body, it is a no win situation - so many areas need work that you might as well quit your day job and retrain as a personal trainer or Yoga or Pilates instructor. It is quite disheartening to say the least and I am surprised by this obsession with body image - definitely a sign of being in the wrong side of thirties; of hurling toward another decade starting with with a bigger number. So, this is when your sweet significant other has to tell you, " Honey, you look great and since you are neither a model or an actress, you do not have to have a perfect body to make a living - so why don't you just eat that second helping you have been ogling. Go for the tiramisu as well".

Okay, now that we spent ample time on the body what else do I make resolutions on. Writing, I always have the goal to write more essays, poems and short stories. In ten years, I have collected five sad and pathetic poems, 2 stories and several more outlines and two chapter of a novel that may never see the light of day. Hey, but I tried sporadically - for my eyes alone and of course, I have this blog where I write about getting my teeth cleaned. Hmm, this is the sum of my literary efforts but on the other hand, I do have a repertoire of books all read and enjoyed. Yes, I will add my reading into the column of my literary efforts.

On the personal character front, I always want to be more loving of others, more forgiving and for me, I want more self- affirmations to boost me above the sorry state of my boring life. I want to do new things, quit the job I no longer love and go for for the one I think I will love. Above all, I always always want to go forward and keep trying new things. Open my mind to be more gracious and more accepting of things I cannot change. To love more - to display more affection, to call mom more, to call my many siblings more often and to go out and see more concerts, watch more musicals and to go out dancing and throw more parties even if nobody returns the favor.

I think this is going to be quite the busy year for me. Best wishes to all who read this and to those occasional lurkers who pop in now and then. Please comment if you want to to know you visited but no need to remind me what a poor typist I am - My husband once commented that I should use spell-check. My reply was that It would kill the spontaneity. Happy 2006.